Friendships might be seen by some as a ‘nice-to-have’–a social bonus rather than a necessity. Yet in reality, loneliness and isolation have become widespread public health crises, even as we live in an era of endless digital connections (U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory). But what if we treated friendships as essential to our health and success–just like sleep, exercise, nutrition, or education? At Stanford, HumBio senior Vignesh Kumar has set out to do exactly that with a new student-initiated course that delves into what we know and how we think about friendships and social connections.
Kumar’s interest in friendships began early in Columbia, Missouri, the small college town where he grew up and where the close-knit community fostered natural connections. At Stanford, he quickly found a home in Human Biology, where his diverse interests in design-thinking, community health, and psychology could be explored and nurtured. But beyond academics, Kumar found that while his classmates excelled in their studies and career pursuits, they often put meaningful friendships in the back seat. On the other hand, Kumar viewed his social connections as integral to his education, happiness, well-being, and overall success. This observation, coupled with his summer HBREX internship with Our Voice, a community health initiative, solidified his understanding of social connections being deeply interwoven with individual and community health.
“From my studies and work with Our Voice, I quickly saw that everything is interlinked with our health, with our understanding of what it means to live, what it means to be, and how we exist in the world,” he explained. “Everything is connected.”
Kumar has long been fascinated with the role deep connections and friendships play in shaping health and well-being. But it wasn’t until a casual dinner conversation with a friend that the idea of creating a course– “Friendship 101”–took root. He knew there were classes at Stanford on leadership, communication, and mental health, but found that there was no structured space for students to discuss social connections and cultivate friendships. To his knowledge, few (if any) universities offer a course on healthy friendships. It's just something that isn't taught. Fueled by this, he began researching, consulting mentors, and designing what would eventually become HumBio 41SI, Design for Healthy Friendships: A Multi-Level Approach to Social Connection, a student-initiated course that blends academic research with real-world applications and students’ lived experiences to explore how we form, maintain, and deepen meaningful connections.
For Kumar, HumBio 41SI is more than an academic or even a personal curiosity, it is a direct response to a problem he saw unfolding around him. “I’ve experienced periods of loneliness in intricate ways at Stanford, and I’ve also seen many of my friends navigate loneliness without it ever being directly named,” he reflected. “But the problem isn’t that people don’t have friends, it’s that we don’t always feel truly connected.” Kumar wanted students to gain a theoretical understanding of social connections from the class but also to walk away with tangible tools to strengthen their connections. Students examine scientific literature and research studies and are invited to reflect and engage deeply with their lived experiences and those of their classmates.
Kumar doesn’t lead this effort alone. He’s joined by faculty sponsor Dr. Lee Sanders, a physician, professor of pediatrics, and d.school educator who has been instrumental in supporting Kumar in developing and teaching of the course. The class also features three distinguished guest speakers. Dr. Donna Zulman, a Class of 2000 HumBio alumna and an associate professor of medicine at Stanford, shares insights from her work on the Presence 5 initiative, a program that promotes presence and connection in healthcare settings. Dr. Shashank Joshi, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford, brings his expertise in mental health and student well-being and the power of relationships for promoting well-being. And Kasley Killam, a public health expert, teaches students about social health as a framework that acknowledges friendship and social connection as an integral part of our health. These varied perspectives create a multidimensional learning experience and provide students with a comprehensive understanding of friendship's role in different aspects of life and health.
From the beginning, Kumar knew that teaching about friendship couldn’t be done in a traditional lecture-style format. Instead of holding class in a standard classroom, he opted for a more open and interactive space at Stanford’s d.school–a setting intentionally designed to encourage honesty, vulnerability, playfulness, and organic discussions and connections.
“There isn’t a sense to be performative or be your polished self. It’s a space where you can just be who you are and say the ideas that come to mind,” he shared. Classes begin with small but intentional rituals, like playing music as students arrive and incorporating improv-style games to relax students and break down social barriers. Kumar approaches the class as a facilitator, hoping that students feel comfortable sharing their experiences, having open discussions, and building upon each other’s thoughts and ideas. “Too often we are scared of being vulnerable and letting ourselves be seen out of fear of judgment or rejection,” he noted. “But at the same time, vulnerability and open and genuine dialogue are essential for feeling truly connected to others.” Through class workshops and discussions, students are encouraged to open up and be honest with themselves and each other and learn how to be more intentional and present with one another. By structuring the class around interactive workshops, peer discussions, and real-world experiments, Kumar ensures that students don’t just talk about friendships—they actively practice the skills that build them.
One of the biggest ideas that Kumar tries to instill in his class is that friendship is not a luxury but a fundamental necessity. Strong social connections can increase longevity, happiness, and overall well-being; on the flip side, weak or limited connections can result in poorer health and performance. “Research shows that those who are socially disconnected are at a greater risk of premature death,” he explained. “The health impact of being socially disconnected is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day!” (Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, U.S. Surgeon General). Using his experiences from Our Voice, he also reframes friendship and loneliness as a collective problem affected by external factors, instead of solely an individual problem. Each class is grounded in critical questions with no right or wrong answer, such as whether friendships should be organic or designed. He encourages students to reflect on how their upbringing, society, and cultures frame how they understand and create friendships. He also challenges them to think about how our world designs infrastructures, practices, or beliefs for other purposes, such as profits or attention, which go on to impact our social connections.
Throughout the class, students examine how these social structures, community design, societal norms, and cultures shape our ability to connect. In one project, students explore Stanford’s campus and capture photos showcasing what environmental and community factors foster or hinder the cultivation of healthy friendships. Together, they search for common themes and discuss ways to change their environments to encourage more meaningful connections. At the end of the class, students also develop and propose a practice or program at the individual, relationship, or community level that they believe would help them or those around them build healthier, more purposeful relationships.
If there is one thing Kumar hopes students take away from this course, it’s that friendships are not just an emotional extra or an afterthought–they are essential to happiness, well-being, and academic and professional success. While we as a society often prioritize productivity and achievement over friendships, social connections are vital in ensuring we live long and healthy lives. At its core, Kumar encourages students to recognize that building meaningful connections isn’t about grand gestures but rather being present. Whether it is asking a deeper question, putting away distractions when catching up with a friend, or simply showing up when it matters, small shifts in intentionality and presence lead to richer, more fulfilling connections. “We have to view social connection and our relationships like our life depends on them, because it does.” Perhaps the biggest takeaway from his course isn’t just learning about friendships but practicing it every day.